Defenders of Marriage
© 1998 Watunes (BMI)
(From Comic Sutra - Live at Luna Park)
Every time we think about same-sex marriage
Makes us sick to our guts
I mean, two people who want to commit to a stable monogamous life-long relationship
What are they, nuts?
It's unnatural!
Now a man should not lie with a person who is a guy
He should only lie to his wife, the bible is clear
We're —
Defenders of marriage
In three-button suits
We'll raise our double standard and see who salutes
Defenders of marriage
Defending the institution against people who want to get married
Every time we hear about same-sex parents
"Oh, my gosh!" we exclaim
I mean, two people who want to provide a protective and nurturing family environment
Have they no shame?
It's so deviant!
It's the Lord's holy word, as my second wife said to my third
That a family's based on obligation and fear
We're —
Defenders of marriage
Connubial narcs
Ever vigilant and patriotic patriarchs
Defenders of marriage
Defending the institution against people who want to get married
One summer evening when my woman was doing laundry
I shared a six-pack with an old John Bircher
And oh so wisely he imparted an ancient quandary, to ponder
He said, "It's nature versus legislature."
Spoken: Are people born gay, or do they turn gay just to piss off Dick Armey?
We're an army of dicks
With a militant stance
Let's get the government out of our lives and into our pants
Defenders of marriage
Defending the institution against people who want to get married
And have their insurance carried
And be beneficiary'd
And be next to the ones they love when they are buried