Norwedish Hate Anthem
© 2004
(From "Security")
In this time of war, natural disaster, social upheaval and political strife, it seems the people who get along the worst are neighbors: The Sunnis and the Shiites, the Tutsis and The Hutus, the Palestinians and the Israelis, the English and the Irish ...
But all those ancient feuds pale in comparison to this burning question:
Are you Norwegian (my wife) or Swedish (me)?
You use too much salt in your lutefisk
Your lefse has too many lumps
You never neuter your elk hounds
You never groom your ski jumps
Your queen has a wart on her forehead
Your king is too fond of his mead
I hate you, you filthy Norwegian
I hate you, you miserable Swede
Ja?
Sure!
I hate you,
I hate you,
I hate you,
I hate you,
I hate you,
I hate you so much
I hate you,
I hate you,
And we hate each other
Almost as much as we both hate the Danes