Love Your Neighborhood Priest
© 2004
(From "Homeland")
Love your neighborhood priest
He needs your firm support, at least
'Cause nobody goes celibate just for the hell of it
Won't you lend a hand to help him wrestle with his beast?
Love that guy in the frock
And introduce him to the new kid on the block
His God-given proclivities won't desist 'til he's deceased
Love your neighborhood priest
Love your neighborhood priest
The pulpit ought not be policed
'Cause you know it isn't really a
Case of pedophilia
It's just that there's a lamb within the flock who's gotten fleeced
Love that guy in the collar
But only if you're four feet tall, not any taller
His parish may be perishing but his membership's increased
Love that neighborhood priest
And oh, you know the story
About the famed parochial academy
Our Lady of the Angels Predatory
Where they teach anatomy by getting all Eve and Adam-y
Love your father confessor
Whatever penance he may give you, tell him, "Yes, sir"
And you may find his fingers are Roman, maybe even Greece'd
Love your neighborhood — he works the hood for you
Love your neighborhood — so, tell him his work was good for you
Love that priest!