Help Me (My Lips are Too Big)
© 2004
(From "Homeland")
Help me, oh help me, my lips are too big
My face is too tight and my lips are too big
I got a horrible crick in my neck
Just trying to carry my lips to this gig
Help me, oh help me, my ass is too firm
My ass is too firm and my abs are too hard
I took a golf ball today in the abs
It bounced off and killed a security guard
Help me, somebody, my tits are too huge
My tits have a different zip code from mine
I got a postcard today from my tits
They saw me at Starbucks behind them in line
(And they miss me)
My cheeks are hollower than the Academy Awards
My teeth are whiter and straighter than the 700 Club
My eyes are bigger than Julius Caesar
My hair has more body than Jeffrey Dahmer's freezer
Oh help me!
Help me!
Help me, oh help me, my lips are too big
My lips are ballooning all over the place
They put too much of my ass in my lips
Now I feel like I'm sitting on my own face